“You can’t limit the number of wives your husband gets because that is how God created men,” says a lady seated next to me while traveling in a bus on a journey from Uganda’s capital City of Kampala to Western Uganda town of Fort Portal recently.
I once jokingly told my girl friend that we should have a rotational presidency of the family. She said, “No! No! I think a man is supposed to be the head of the family.”
In my village, old women will always advise new wed ladies to take extra care of their husbands like preparing them warm water in the morning for bathing, cleaning their clothes, preparing them food, kneeling when serving them food. Actually, all the above and so many others are taken as divine responsibilities of women. But who tells you that a man can’t prepare food, prepare bathing water for himself, and wash clothes among other family chores!
In the Central Uganda Kingdom of Buganda, there is a common saying that a lady can force laughter when angry, stressed, not in moods of laughing, etc for the sole purpose of making her husband happy.
Funny! Such thinking is still claiming territories in the developed world which always press for women rights in developing countries like Uganda with highly conservative societies. United States of America for instance has never elected a woman president partly, because of a conservative thinking that women can never be strong leaders to defend their country. Madam Hillary Clinton recently faced the wrath of that conservative thinking when he tried to put herself in ‘men’s shoes’
It maybe true, that most women are emotional, soft, etc because society demands them to be like that. If you acted like Semenya (South African athlete), talked with authority like Uganda’s Miria Matembe, played football, approached your dream man and said, “I love you,” ooooh! Many African men will be scared, to them, that behavior is unusual, strange, unwanted – not even sexy.
But, are there many differences between the two sexes – male and a female? Girls have been on top of boys on so many occasions in so many things for instance in school performance in Uganda. If you doubt this, Namagunga, Gayaza and Nabisunsa girl’s secondary schools will silence you.
You have seen women heads of states performing better than men, can you compare the current president of Liberia, Ellen Johnstone Sirleaf with a brutal and corrupt dictator - Charles Taylor. What about Mwammar Gaddafi’s (Libya president) women escorts – their boss doesn’t seem to complain of loopholes in his personal security. Who in the security circles in Uganda didn’t shake, shiver, etc when the Queen of England – Elizabeth II - landed in Uganda for the Kampala Common Wealth Heads of Government meeting (CHOGM) in 2007? If you want to prove it, pleaseee…. Kindly, ask generals Kaguta, Nyakairima, Tinyefunza and Kayihura.
Gender stereotypes are deeply embedded in African cultural and religious thinking but a change in that thinking is very possible. Who doesn’t want to see his mother, sister, daughter enjoying real equal rights with men?
